


once it was the colour of saying

by therestisdetail



Series: the conversation of prayers about to be said [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: abandonment issues are kind of a thing around here, gabriel is an effing archangel, this is directly post-Changing Channels but it's angelcentric so it still counts ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-02
Updated: 2012-06-02
Packaged: 2017-11-06 15:30:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/420408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therestisdetail/pseuds/therestisdetail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel wants to talk about when Castiel knew his place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	once it was the colour of saying

 

"I didn't expect confetti and a parade, exactly. I worked out that they were single-minded brats when I dicked with them the first time."  
  
The voice comes from behind him, at first. Speaking with all the trappings of humanity but still familiar.  
  
"But you, my own brother. No big reunion special?"  
  
"Gabriel," Castiel says, and does not lower his eyes. He has been waiting for hours. He's still stiff, numb. From the warehouse. From everything, from _this_.   
  
"I expected better," Gabriel scolds, and his eyes flash with the extent of his meaning. A golden warmth, even in anger. He smiles. "I gave you your own premium-cable epiphany, Castiel, a fully HD reminder of who you are __. I gave you orders."  
  
Yes, Castiel thinks, the Winchesters were not alone in that. The scenes he had been cast into the midst of were all his own, memories played out as he fought and bled with his garrison under the banner of Gabriel's Word and by the Grace of Heaven. Old wounds taken again, his own blows striking home again. He is unsure if it was a punishment or a temptation.  
  
"You can speak at any time, you know." Gabriel raises his hands and waggles them. "Share with class. No interruptions, the Olsen twins are sleeping soundly. Don't pull that face, I'm not hurting them."  
  
Castiel blinks once. He does not need to be told that Gabriel will not harm Sam and Dean. They are the Vessels, and he has made his opinions on them clear. Sam and Dean are needed. He is calm; they, at least, are safe. Even from an archangel. __From_ this_ archangel.  
  
"What, you want them to join our little heart to heart? Can I say 'whipped', am I right?" Gabriel gestures for validation from an audience that is not there. "They said their piece. I get why they like you, though. They want an angel who stands up to his family, huh? Well, boy oh boy have you done just that."  
  
Raphael does not possess mercy, but he does possess impatience, and that death had at least been quick. Castiel does not presume to know Gabriel, not this Gabriel. He steels himself, and wonders. Still, he doesn't want to look away even for a moment. Gabriel is at once incongrously small, looking up to meet Castiel's eyes, and at the same time far too much to be contained in this room. He is everything Castiel remembers.  
  
"What have they convinced you- you know, it doesn't matter. You're just a soldier, Castiel. Our little soldier, and you left me in that ring of fire."  
  
Yes, Castiel thinks, as he watches Gabriel move with the restlessness, the feral twitch of a body that truly belongs to him. And I would do it again.  
  
"Me!" Gabriel blazes. It's beautiful. "You let them hold- you stood by and you allowed- __by our Father, are you _mute_?"  
  
"Many stopped speaking," says Castiel.  
  
Gabriel stops short. "What?"  
  
"For a long time, many did not speak for the grief," Castiel says, because he needs Gabriel to understand. "You left and you took that with you, so we mourned in silence until we had the will to learn the words anew. But it was not the same."  
  
"Huh. " says Gabriel. Then, after a while; "Oh." All at once he just looks small. Castiel feels no victory and no desire for it, but he is certain, he reaches inside himself and finds certainty. A borrowed certainty, but not begrudged to him. Sam and Dean sleep on.  
  
"I am fallen, and you left. There can be no orders." He only wants Gabriel to understand.  
  
There's a silence, and then Gabriel lets out a slow breath. It is so achingly human. "Is that so." He reaches out. Castiel leans into the touch - and his expectation of an end - on his own instinct, and flinches on some remnant of Jimmy's. Gabriel notices both, and seems horrified, briefly, and then only softly and wholly sad. The next minute he is gone. Castiel realises, then and only then, that he was never in danger.  
  
A little later there's a grunt from the bed. "Cas," Dean mutters, thick with sleep. "Turn off the damn light, man."  
  
"Forgive me," Cas says absently, and obliges. Dean rolls over and grunts, content, and Sam begins to snore again.  
  
Cas lets them sleep. They have so much yet to do.

 


End file.
